Colonel Edmund J. Burke
2017-11-05 16:10:07 UTC
2017 Dennis terminated from the Public Library... Failure to perform guard duties.
Last week, the week of June 19th, Dennis James Johnson was summarily discharged from his position of library security guard by new interim librarian, apparently a young woman not to be “truffled” with. The new librarian cited the primary reason for Officer Dennis' summary dismissal as a “failure to act in accordance with his assigned duties.” The entire affair came as a shock and complete surprise to Officer D, who, according to his own recounting of the event, was summoned to said librarian’s office following a particularly nasty disruption in the library by some homeless nutjob.
Dennis describes in his report the culprit in question was a male indigent about six foot two, and “scary.” It would seem the homeless library patron began, at some point, to verbally accost the new librarian lady in a "loud and aggressive manner," and seasoning his admonishments with such vulgarity as would make a longshoreman blush. In fact, he called her “a cunt” at one point. This "big stink" was painfully emotioned by aghast employee and patron alike. All the while, Officer Johnson just stood there, frozen in his wimpy fear, while doing nothing to defend this good lady’s honor.
Following this cacophonous confusion, said librarian summoned Officer D to her office. She irritably pressed for an answer to his "just standing about" during the course of this disruption--his doing absolutely nothing, as it were, with both thumbs firmly implanted up his cowardly arse.
“You should have called the police,” she admonished.
“The police don’t respond to those kind of calls,” D informed her. “But I’ll consider that constructive criticism.”
“Whom do you report to?” she asked, now thoroughly annoyed by D's wanton ignorance of the recent situation.
Most likely it was during course of this short exchange the young woman realized she was in the company of a "complete and total" incompetent nincompoop, that she was simply flapping her gums in the wind. As such, after dismissing the befuddled D, whose dullard intellect couldn’t the situation grasp, said librarian proceeded to place two calls… One to the head librarian, a certain Miss Jackson, and another to D's boss at the security guard company.
And as they say..... THE REST IS HISTORY!